She's Just Not That Into You - I Mean It

In our travels through the Yukon Territory and British Columbia, we have met a number of young women who work seasonally in these areas in the hospitality industry. They seem to have been given the memo which says "dress sexy because that's where the tips are". Try to remember that most of the tourists are either cruise ship tourists or middle-aged RV tourists which means they are probably over 50. It never ceases to amaze me to see men thinking "I've got it all going on, this chick digs me". A particularly good example of this was at Earl's Restaurant in Whitehorse, Yukon. Joe & I were having lunch when two men over 50 came in. As the 20 something waitress gave them the menus, one of the men asked if there were any specials. The waitress replied that there were no specials, everything on the menu was good. So one of the men says to the young lady "Including you?". I thought to myself, "Oh, aren't you the slick one, quite the playboy!" I guess he didn't realize that this young woman would be running back to the kitchen to relay this hideously funny story of how the old man tried to pick her up. All she saw, I'm sure, was the possibility of getting a big tip by playing along. Just FYI, unless you are George Clooney, Harrison Ford, etc most of these women aren't really interested. Just like a dog would like the steak in the butcher's window, these women would like the big tip pretending to be friendly and interested will bring. Hate to break the bubble.

Sammelsurium - Special RV edition

In the book "1000 Places to See Before You Die" there is a listing for Chena, Alaska which has hot springs. We decided to stay there and thought it would be a good opportunity to stay in a hotel. Well the buildings look like military barracks and a room costs $189 plus $50 for the dog! I thought this was outrageous so we decided to stay in the RV park. This was at the absolute other end of the spectrum at $10 but zero services. Fine. We decided to use the hot springs pool that same evening & it was "interesting" to say the least. The concrete paths to the pools are all cracked and simply covered over with rubber mats. The rocks which make up the walls of the pool are covered with super gross moss and the bottom is littered with old band-aids and assorted other crap. I almost died when I saw the sign that said you could take water home to enjoy it's health benefits but please use a plastic bottle to avoid injury. I'd say you have proved what you are made of simply by making it down the path. A little upkeep wouldn't hurt. It might be best to make this the last place you visit out of the book because you might not make it out alive.

The couple managing our RV park in Dawson City, Yukon must have been prison guards in a former life. Internet is available from 8:30am to 8:30pm - no deviation. The laundry room was very clean but God help you if you didn't use their method for putting the detegent in (you only find out what that method is after putting it in your own way) and the minute the dryer stops you had better be in there removing your clothes or they were doing it for you. They also had an ironing board so I decided to take advantage and get some ironing done. When I went to plug my iron in, I noticed a sign on the bulletin board which said "maximum outlet usage 15 minutes". As 15 minutes is not much time for ironing I thought I'd simply ignore this and plead ignorance if they caught me. No way Jose. When I bent down to plug the iron in under the table, the same sign was directly next to the outlet! Come on, people, get a life. I'll get back to this topic again later, but they also seem to be advocates of the "Petticoat Junction" school of RV park bathroom showers. The changing room was in front of the actual shower which had a curtain. However the changing room itself had two wooden doors with a hook. Needless to say the doors didn't close completely and only came to boob level if you were over 5'4". A big plus for this park, though, was that it was walking distance from the center of Dawson City. After losing my father and our mishaps on the Dempster Highway, a little fun was just what the doctor had ordered. We met the locals and spent an evening with Wally (operates machinery for one of the mines) and Duncan (the owner of the "Pit" which is a kind of rundown nightclub). You can truly say "What happens in Dawson City, stays in Dawson City" The town is well worth a visit, it was the most fun I've had in a long time.

The RV park in Prince Rupert, British Columbia is a story in and of itself. It is the closest park to the ferry landing and considering that you arrive after 10pm at night your best alternative for accommodation. The camp is run by an Asian man and here cultures really collide. A lot of Americans have difficulty when they get to Switzerland in dealing with public nudity, for example in public mixed saunas. Simply a cultural difference. Well you wouldn't except to come up against this in North America until you get to Prince Rupert. The RV manager is all business. This means that he is constantly cleaning the showers - even when they are occupied by women in various stages of undress. He is also the inventor in my opinion of the previously mentioned "Petticoat Junction" showers. They appear to be loosely based on the concept of bathing in the wooden water tower tub. He has streamlined the concept so that no curtain is provided, just the two wooden doors which do not close completely. The height of the doors seems to based on the height of the average Asian woman so let's just say a lot of flesh was being unwillingly exposed. Not a pretty picture but he was oblivious, just getting the job done.

If you remember I had to do the walk of shame for my ironing activities in an RV park. Well again, due to our Dempster Highway experience, we are back here again - details to remain secret so we don't get kicked out. :) It is a very clean place, not too far out of the town. However the woman running the place always is dressed like she is either just getting ready to go hunting or just getting back from hunting. Ladies I realize that fashion is an individual thing. However camouflage clothing is best left to the under 25 crowd unless you are in the military or really a hunter. Take my word for it.

Getting my mojo back

Two days ago we embarked on our trip along the Dempster Highway (nothing put gravel, really) to the Arctic Circle. I have to admit that I wasn't really looking forward to this "adventure" as I had had more than enough of the bumpy, bone rattling ride from Chicken, Alaska to Dawson City, Yukon. Well little did I know that the mishaps which were to occur would provide me with enough material for a book. After getting a flat tire and sliding off the road requiring a tow (long story) we ended up in Eagle Plains which is at the midway point of the Dempster. The cast of characters there were straight out of a sitcom. As I entered the bar to reserve an RV spot I ran into the owner. We had actually met him on the road and he had taken our damaged tire to the garage at Eagle Plains. However, that had happened hours earlier and he was now firmly into his Happy Hour. He asked how I was and I said I just needed a break and to calm down. Well this caused him to say at least a million times "What, why, you're not dead! It's all good". Then, after getting parked and settled, we went back into the bar. My "friend" was now even further along in his good time. Out of nowhere he asked if I like Fox News. I said that I would watch anything. So then he became agitated and accused me of being a Fox News Republican. I'm not but wouldn't have admitted it if I was - I didn't need Raymond Burr trying me for my alleged crime as I was really exhausted. Them out of the blue he starts praising the Canadian Prime Minister and President Obama. I couldn't keep mental track of this guy.

My favorite character, however, was the barmaid. Oh boy, where to start. Like myself she was in her early 50's. She spoke with an accent I really couldn't place so I asked where she was from. Answer: Bavaria! What?! I have lived in Switzerland long enough to recognize a German accent but she didn't have one. At any rate she said she'd been driving her pick-up through Canada about 4 years ago and broke down in front of the Eagle Plains complex. One thing led to another and she decided to stay - now working her way toward permanent residency and lovin' it. I told Joe it was like the German movie "Out of Rosenheim" come to life. For those of you unfamiliar with the film, it is a story about a German married couple driving through the US on vacation. After an argument the husband leaves the wife on the side of the road in a small desert town. The wife ends up staying and opens up a restaurant. So here on the Dempster we have life imitating art.

Never in the right place at the right time

During all my years of living in Switzerland, I was constantly missing out on special occasions and events in the lives of my friends and family. I thought that things would be different now that we had purchased an apartment in Chicago. This was to be my base here in the States. I thought it be great to have a place of my own and not have to feel like a tourist every time I was visiting. We arrived in early May to begin our RV trip and I saw how weak my father had become. He had been very ill for a very long time but still it was a shock. At the beginning of July I had a very strong feeling that I should go and visit him. I flew to Chicago from Anchorage on July 9th and visited him every day for the next five days. After returning to Alaska, I received an email from my older sister Judi on July 18th saying that I should call my parents home ASAP. I did this immediately and was told my father didn't have much longer to live. He in fact passed away on the 19th, shortly after 6:30 in the morning. As, per my mother's wishes, there was to be no funeral or mass, I did not return to Chicago. As hard as this has been to deal with, I do truly appreciate that I had an opportunity to see my father one last time and say goodbye. It is a daily struggle to accept that he is gone but he is truly now in a better place. I think he would be happy to know that his passing has brought me back in touch with family members I had lost track of. I now know that I should always trust my intuition and make the most of the time I have with family and friends as you never know if it is the last time.

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 8

We continue to be an attraction everywhere we go in the Earth Roamer. The other day we were parked in the Safeway grocery store parking lot in Homer, Alaska when a woman came over to comment on our RV. She then asked if we were traveling in the Earth Roamer because we are famous & if we could tell her what we are famous for. I told her we aren't famous & this just happens to be the RV we purchased - she was disappointed with this response. Later it struck me that I should have said we are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - it's amazing what they can do with make-up and lighting.

At our Homer RV park some fellow guests were telling us about a great local winery in the town where they had gone to taste wine. They were really raving about the place so Joe suggested we try it out yesterday. Big mistake. Every wine was blended with natural fruit juice so it was all super sweet, really undrinkable - and this for $25 - $28 per bottle. The other tasters were just raving about the stuff but to me it made Boone's Farm seem like Dom Perignon. We made a hasty exit which didn't please the owners. Later that night at dinner we were laughing about this but then we were stopped cold. Here at the bar at our resort they proudly serve these wines in addition to smoked salmon flavored vodka. I don't even want to know what that tastes like.

The Ratings Game

There are all types of websites and RV directories that you can use to determine where you would like to stay during your trip. Some even use a system similar to the star ratings which are used for hotels. Well after my two plus months on the road, I can say that these ratings are far from an exact science. At times it is hard to reconcile the review with the actual facilty (rarely better than anticipated, believe me). I guess the people producing these ratings realize this too as they publish a disclaimer which states they are not responsible for the "quality" of the amenities.Hmmmmhhh, interesting. So, as an example,if a park has showers - even if they aren't too clean or maintained or you have to pay for them - this earns them a star. The same star earned by an RV park where the showers are very clean and free. Does this make sense or seem logical? This is like saying the Days Inn and the Ritz Carlton should both get a star for having bathrooms in every room. One is left with the feeling that the people volunteering to check out the RV parks during their own travels either don't want to cheese anyone off or are practicing for their next career as a fiction writer. Also as their actual name is listed with the area / region their reviewing, human nature makes them want to be kind. Time for a look at the hotel industry best practice.

My Life as a Museum Exhibit

I am a person that likes everything & I do mean everything ironed. I am in fact the über ironer - if that is in fact a word. This has been one of my major challenges on this trip. One comes across RV parks with an ironing board and iron, some with just an ironing board, some with zero ironing utensils. During one of our many visits to Wal-Mart (this can become an addiction, believe me), I bought my own iron. So during our recent stay at an RV park in Whitehorse, Yukon, I saw that they had an ironing board in the laundry room. As we were under no time pressure, I decided to iron a few items of clothing to increase my comfort level on the road. Well, once I started, I became attraction number one. Women were coming in and saying "What, you iron? I haven't ironed in 20 years!" or "Oh my God, you actually use spray starch!" or "Spray starch? What is the reason for using spray starch?" I felt that for these women someone had opened up a time capsule and I had stepped out. A number of women came in to watch me and I have to admit I found it irritating. Was I running around saying "Oh my God, you're wearing pants that are entirely wrinkled!" I guess my efforts to look "put together" as my mother would say put them on the defensive. Still being a bug under the microscope was no picnic.