Sunday, August 28, 2011

We love you all, but.....

It has been great meeting people in the various RV parks we have stayed in - just having each other to talk too is not always so interesting. It is also fine that a lot of people want to ask questions about the Earth Roamer as it is a very unique vehicle. However at times the questioning can get overwhelming. We can be having breakfast, lunch, dinner and people will still come over and just start asking questions : Can I look inside, what does this thing cost, what kind of mileage do you get, have you ever changed a tire, what does a tire cost - the list goes on. Again, no problem, but can we finish our meal first. Yesterday we were getting ready to leave our site when a group of people started advancing on the Earth Roamer like something out of "Night of the Living Dead". I told Joe we needed to get the H out of there subito. While we were at Old Faithful, we were sitting in the car looking at a map. I saw a man out of the corner of my eye circling the vehicle. No problem as lots of people like to take pictures of the RV. I wasn't in the mood for a Q & A session (it was so hot outside & I was tired) so I avoided eye contact. Well that didn't deter that gentleman. He just started knocking on the window until we rolled it down! Uh, ever here of the theory of concentric circles of personal space sir?!?!? Just asking.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

People, we need to talk

For those of you who have lived in Switzerland, this is nothing new. When one is in a restaurant at a table and there are places free, it is commonplace that strangers ask to join you. Well, welcome to North America! We were in a small coffee / bagel / tea restaurant in Waterton, Alberta, Canada and wanted to sit outside. As no table was completely free, I asked if we could join the two men at a table meant for six. Sure, but then they left. Today we found ourselves in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. Two people mid-fifties were waiting for a table. As we were at a table for six - again - we invited them to join us. Oh, no way, Jose.  I guess it is better to spend the evening waiting for your "own" table as to join others. I find this very sad.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

A National Park is not a National Park

I was always of the assumption that the US and Canada were very similar. I now admit that where animal ownership is concerned, I was hopelessly wrong. During our stay in the Jasper National Park, Nera was allowed to be on all trails with us. The Canadian Parks Service expects the owner to be responsible. Period. Nera had the opportunity to be about five feet away from an Elk and was able to simply observe. However, once we arrived in Yellowstone, it was a very different world. No dogs allowed on the walkways, no dogs allowed to wait outside the stores, no dogs allowed on the wilderness trails etc. When I asked for an explanation I was told that dogs leave a scent, that not all people like dogs, that dogs can spread disease, that dogs could be attacked by a wild animal etc. I then explained that Canada doesn't seem to feel this way and the ranger was shocked. I then said the real problem was probably at the other end of the leash with irresponsible owners and the threat of a lawsuit should a pet be injured. This is a particularly irritating situation for me when one sees tons of tourists who disregard their own personal safety or the needs of wild animals when they are standing three feet from a 3'000 pound bison which can run 30 miles per hour. In the interest of getting a great photo they endanger not only themselves and their children not to mention the animal itself but dogs are the so-called problem. Really amazing.

Mixology

In my junior year of high school I had some pre-Homecoming fun with some girlfriends. Oh we were so sophisticated that we were drinking "cocktails" of red wine mixed with Coke. I think a few of us spent the next day at the Homecoming game wishing we were dead due to our pounding headaches not to mention the "drinking and dialing" of the night before. Imagine my shock when we were in Grande Cache, Alberta at the beginning of this month. Joe and I were having dinner at the bar of a restaurant when the men seated next to us ordered red wine and Coke and then mixed them! One of the men explained that the Coke cuts the dry, hard edge of the wine. Who knew we were so ahead of our time! I have my doubts as to this particular combination but was amazed that it existed outside of Southwest Side Chicago.

Today, though, I saw something that even my friends and I (good customers of Blue Nun wine which we felt was really the top during high school and college) had failed to consider. At a liquor store in Buffalo, Wyoming I saw a product from Holland which was red wine mixed with chocolate and then REFRIGERATED!!!! Hey, are these people from the Southwest Side or do they simply know how to pull the okey doke over on unsuspecting customers? I guess they thought they could mix lower quality wine with equally awful chocolate refrigerate it so that no one could really taste it and sell it to unsuspecting Americans - God help us if this is sold internationally. The Americans probably feel super Euro-sophisticated buying and "enjoying" this product. I guess we all haven't moved that far away from high school.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Are We Perhaps Taking Ourselves a Little Too Seriously?

As Aveda is an international beauty and hair care company, I assumed it would be no problem getting my hair cut and colored while traveling through the US and Canada. I did, after all, have the color formula from my stylist in Zurich and Aveda should be Aveda. Oh, how wrong I was. First you need to make an appointment and here is where the problems start. In a system which is only rivaled by the Shriners, one has to determine what level of stylist is required. Does one want the Head Educator or the New Artist or better yet the Grand Salon Stylist not to mention the Senior Stylist? What about the New Artist Director? And truly no Aveda salon visit would be complete without an interaction with the Director of 1st Impressions!! As long as we are into the classification game, why not make it fun like the Shriners who also have a system of titles which are not transparent to the uninitiated. Let's throw in an Imperial Chief Rabban or Imperial Potentate to really confuse the customer. Once you have been sufficiently worn down with this decision, you meet your stylist. Here you get to play "Do I really know what hair color I want?" I was under the mistaken perception that the written formula from my stylist was all I would need to get the same color - au contraire! Each time I have attempted to use the formula I am told it is either a) not a valid formula or b)  not my color. The conversation is enough to wear me down so I give in. However I always end up with my original color and the last time I received a re-written copy of the formula which was identical to what I had given the stylist.

The moral of the story is that a company that started out as a real trailblazer has become big, bloated and out of touch with their customers. Truly sad.

RV Park Listings - The Royal Scam

I have previously blogged about the relative uselessness of the RV directories such as Woodalls or Mileposts. A recent stay at an RV park which was listed as having bathroom and shower facilities only reinforced my opinion. The shower drains didn't work adequately so I was left standing in a few inches of water after a five minute shower in a room filled with bugs. The bathrooms, however, were the last straw. There was no toilet paper provided nor was there a toilet paper holder! Upon registration customers were informed that toilet paper was not provided. With all due respect, is this not the minimum a customer could expect? I mention this as this particular RV park is listed in both above-mentioned directories. Although they claim that their write-ups in no way indicate the quality of the facilities, I think there should be a minimum standard required for inclusion. Otherwise both of these directories simply become a business like those one sees on infomercials. A good example is "How to Buy Property for No Money Down". No one makes money buying real estate with this program, they make money selling the kits for $29.95. Each of these directories sells for approximately $25 - $30 and this is where the money is made. By the time you have stayed at multiple RV parks that are listed in these books you realize you would have the same luck finding a place to stay by randomly selecting an RV park as you drive by. But it's too late to do anything about it as you already own the directory. I would suggest these companies simply produce a list of RV parks with the relevant contact information and let the consumer manage his own expectations.

Heard It on the Radio

One of the benefits of being in our RV is being able to listen to satellite radio. I had heard of Sirius while living in Switzerland but was completely unfamiliar with the content. Well as someone who loves to keep up with the news and politics this was a Godsend. However it is truly amazing how the various news channels treat the same topic. Take the entire debt ceiling saga and the downgrading of the US by Standard & Poors. Listening to Chris Matthews on MSNBC - one of my absolute favorite political journalists so I hate to criticize him - or any of the people on FOX News, one gets worked into a frenzy. They are literally screaming and you have the feeling the sky is truly falling. Then you turn on Bloomberg Radio which is the "spa music" version of a news program. Everyone is calm, everyone allows the other discussion partner to finish their sentence instead of constantly interrupting - honestly the other stations could take a page from these people.

Then one gets into the various themed music stations - country, music of the 60's 70's 80's etc. I love to be able to guess who the artist is and the name of the song before it is displayed, kind of like a game. The only problem is my traveling partner, Joe. He seems to have retained zero recollection of any music he has ever heard. When pressed to guess he either says Elton John to most anything or guesses the last artist I had correct. As someone who feels confident they could win "Name That Tune"' this isn't much competition. My recently deceased father also had the ability to recognize an amazingly large number of songs so this is probably where I get the "talent" from. Watching this show with my father always reminded me of an "Honeymooners" episode where Ralph Kramden was going to be in this type of competition and was practicing with Ed Norton. The only problem was that Ed introduced each new selection with a few bars of "Swanee River" and Ralph choked up on that exact song.

Lastly there are tons of entertainment news programs. Although most of what they talk about is of no interest to me, there were recently two similar stories which caught my attention. It appears that the 80 plus George Soros is being sued by his approximately 28 year old girlfriend because he didn't buy her the multimillion dollar apartment he had promised her (he denies promising this & I guess my question would be why someone's boyfriend, regardless of how wealthy, would have to buy his girlfriend an apartment. What happened to personal independence & responsibility?) Then there was the story of the also 80 plus Hugh Hefner who was dumped by his twenty something fiance shortly before their marriage. She claimed that they had no sex life and that his body was disgusting. Really, he didn't look like a "Playgirl" magazine model!?!?!? Boy, I'm shocked & she must have been too as she then accepted a marriage proposal in addition to an extremely expensive engagement ring.She's certainly not just a gold digger....... I think men have to acknowledge that most twenty something women are not looking for boyfriends over 80 due to the their sparkling personalities and fabulous bodies - I think the size of their wallets and the level of their celebrity are their most interesting traits. Let's be honest, if this was really a trend we would be seeing a lot more of these "May - December" (actually more like January - December) romances in the general population but that's hardly the case. It might be time for men to acknowledge that the woman they are involved with have another agenda than romance and that they themselves like being viewed as virile guys who can get any woman they want. For the women involved with these much older men, it might be time to take a good long look into the honesty mirror. If your 80 plus year old boyfriend didn't have the possibilty to offer you a jet set lifestyle, a spread in a men's magazine and some modicum of personal celebrity, or a multimillion dollar apartment, would you still be interested? If you would like to assert that it is really the person you love and are interested in, fine. I would then consider this a business opportunity and set up a matchmaking site for twenty something's seeking 80 something's. The assisted-living facilitie are full of unattached men looking for a new relationship and I would just be the conduit to bring the potential lovebirds together. Somehow, though, I think an older guy on a fixed income is not what these ladies are looking for.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

She's Just Not That Into You - I Mean It

In our travels through the Yukon Territory and British Columbia, we have met a number of young women who work seasonally in these areas in the hospitality industry. They seem to have been given the memo which says "dress sexy because that's where the tips are". Try to remember that most of the tourists are either cruise ship tourists or middle-aged RV tourists which means they are probably over 50. It never ceases to amaze me to see men thinking "I've got it all going on, this chick digs me". A particularly good example of this was at Earl's Restaurant in Whitehorse, Yukon. Joe & I were having lunch when two men over 50 came in. As the 20 something waitress gave them the menus, one of the men asked if there were any specials. The waitress replied that there were no specials, everything on the menu was good. So one of the men says to the young lady "Including you?". I thought to myself, "Oh, aren't you the slick one, quite the playboy!" I guess he didn't realize that this young woman would be running back to the kitchen to relay this hideously funny story of how the old man tried to pick her up. All she saw, I'm sure, was the possibility of getting a big tip by playing along. Just FYI, unless you are George Clooney, Harrison Ford, etc most of these women aren't really interested. Just like a dog would like the steak in the butcher's window, these women would like the big tip pretending to be friendly and interested will bring. Hate to break the bubble.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Sammelsurium - Special RV edition

In the book "1000 Places to See Before You Die" there is a listing for Chena, Alaska which has hot springs. We decided to stay there and thought it would be a good opportunity to stay in a hotel. Well the buildings look like military barracks and a room costs $189 plus $50 for the dog! I thought this was outrageous so we decided to stay in the RV park. This was at the absolute other end of the spectrum at $10 but zero services. Fine. We decided to use the hot springs pool that same evening & it was "interesting" to say the least. The concrete paths to the pools are all cracked and simply covered over with rubber mats. The rocks which make up the walls of the pool are covered with super gross moss and the bottom is littered with old band-aids and assorted other crap. I almost died when I saw the sign that said you could take water home to enjoy it's health benefits but please use a plastic bottle to avoid injury. I'd say you have proved what you are made of simply by making it down the path. A little upkeep wouldn't hurt. It might be best to make this the last place you visit out of the book because you might not make it out alive.

The couple managing our RV park in Dawson City, Yukon must have been prison guards in a former life. Internet is available from 8:30am to 8:30pm - no deviation. The laundry room was very clean but God help you if you didn't use their method for putting the detegent in (you only find out what that method is after putting it in your own way) and the minute the dryer stops you had better be in there removing your clothes or they were doing it for you. They also had an ironing board so I decided to take advantage and get some ironing done. When I went to plug my iron in, I noticed a sign on the bulletin board which said "maximum outlet usage 15 minutes". As 15 minutes is not much time for ironing I thought I'd simply ignore this and plead ignorance if they caught me. No way Jose. When I bent down to plug the iron in under the table, the same sign was directly next to the outlet! Come on, people, get a life. I'll get back to this topic again later, but they also seem to be advocates of the "Petticoat Junction" school of RV park bathroom showers. The changing room was in front of the actual shower which had a curtain. However the changing room itself had two wooden doors with a hook. Needless to say the doors didn't close completely and only came to boob level if you were over 5'4". A big plus for this park, though, was that it was walking distance from the center of Dawson City. After losing my father and our mishaps on the Dempster Highway, a little fun was just what the doctor had ordered. We met the locals and spent an evening with Wally (operates machinery for one of the mines) and Duncan (the owner of the "Pit" which is a kind of rundown nightclub). You can truly say "What happens in Dawson City, stays in Dawson City" The town is well worth a visit, it was the most fun I've had in a long time.

The RV park in Prince Rupert, British Columbia is a story in and of itself. It is the closest park to the ferry landing and considering that you arrive after 10pm at night your best alternative for accommodation. The camp is run by an Asian man and here cultures really collide. A lot of Americans have difficulty when they get to Switzerland in dealing with public nudity, for example in public mixed saunas. Simply a cultural difference. Well you wouldn't except to come up against this in North America until you get to Prince Rupert. The RV manager is all business. This means that he is constantly cleaning the showers - even when they are occupied by women in various stages of undress. He is also the inventor in my opinion of the previously mentioned "Petticoat Junction" showers. They appear to be loosely based on the concept of bathing in the wooden water tower tub. He has streamlined the concept so that no curtain is provided, just the two wooden doors which do not close completely. The height of the doors seems to based on the height of the average Asian woman so let's just say a lot of flesh was being unwillingly exposed. Not a pretty picture but he was oblivious, just getting the job done.

If you remember I had to do the walk of shame for my ironing activities in an RV park. Well again, due to our Dempster Highway experience, we are back here again - details to remain secret so we don't get kicked out. :) It is a very clean place, not too far out of the town. However the woman running the place always is dressed like she is either just getting ready to go hunting or just getting back from hunting. Ladies I realize that fashion is an individual thing. However camouflage clothing is best left to the under 25 crowd unless you are in the military or really a hunter. Take my word for it.