All the Single Ladies

Taking a page from Beyonce, I am going to start offering the "Single Ladies" RV tours in the Earth Roamer. I have had more attention from more men during this last month in the Earth Roamer (not that I'm looking for it, really) than I've had in my whole life. Men actually discuss the RV with me as if I have an idea of how it all works, amazing. So after our trip is over I will have to learn how to drive the Earth Roamer myself and then offers tours to a small select group of women. As the dog has also turned out to be super interesting to all types of men and women, Nera will go along as the tour mascot. We are currently in Salt Lake and the dog is an attention magnet.

Should the "Single Ladies" tour not take off, I have another potential business idea - this time a reality show. Every time I mention to Joe that I'd like to stop at a shopping mall I get the lecture which features two topics 1) is this really necessary (answer: yes) 2) there is limited space in the RV, where are you going to put this stuff? Well the answer is "RV Hoarders". If necessary I'll be towing a trailer behind the Earth Roamer.  I wonder if TLC would be interested - you have to admit their bar for interest is pretty low...... Sarah Palin's "Alaska" anyone or any of the whole series of multiple birth families? I see my idea as having a ton more potential!

Sammelsurium or Simply "Stuff" volume 4

When we arrived in Moab, Utah the other day it seemed like it had the potential to be dog friendly. Well as we just wanted to have a drink we stopped at two bars to ask if we could sit outside and have a drink with the dog.  Well what I got was a "What, No Way Jose" response complete with Health Department this, Health Department that" blah, blah, blah. All I can say is that, people, if you are concerned about the Health Department you might take a good look around the premises before you get inspected. I in no way feel that dogs have a right to sit on every bar's terrace, but simply just say you don't want them. On a positive note, the Peace Tree restaurant in Moab is super dog friendly and Nera spent two meals there on their terrace without incident. They serve great food as well.

Being new to the whole RV park experience, using the facilities has been a learning experience for me. I would just like to say to fellows travelers that signs asking you to keep the bathrooms clean or asking you to clean the dryer filters should be viewed as commands like in the military, not suggestions that you may or may not follow. The lack of consideration for others is nothing short of appalling.

I have a new entry for "Roadside America". It is the "Hole n" the Rock" just outside of Moab, Utah. Interestingly enough they don't write "n" as one would expect but n". Go figure. It has been in business since the early 1940's and the original owner actually sculpted Franklin D. Roosevelt's face into the rock above this business (honestly not sure why) which was originally his home.This place contains quite possibly the largest collection of meaningless tschoscke in the world. The management seems to be particularly fond of Marilyn Monroe as all types of photos, t-shirts, metal signs etc with her image are on sale but I failed to find any connection.  If you're interested, it's open all year! :)

I'm Coming Undone

Today was a true test for me in the Earth Roamer. We decided (or should I say Joe wanted to and I didn't refuse) to go off-road. This is not really my thing but I didn't want to be the wet blanket or party pooper so I went along. Well after what seemed like an eternity driving over bad bumps, driving up and over steep inclines with no sign of a normal road on the horizon, we were "rescued" by two elderly men in a red jeep. The one man said we had no hope of making it any further, that if we did it would have to be the 8th Wonder of the World. It seems roads are ranked from 1 to 10 and we were already on a 6 with the upcoming terrain being even more treacherous! Honestly as I was praying that we make it out alive, I believe that these men were angels or good samaritans sent to us in the nick of time. The one said he had served in WWII and had spent time in Zurich in the 1950's. He has been friends with the man he was traveling with since they were 5 or 6 yeas old. It was really amazing to meet them and they said they regularly help tourists out of a bind in this area, Arches National Park. In the aftermath with the Earth Roamer getting slightly damaged and our relationship suffering slightly, we have decided to plan our off-road adventures a little more carefully.

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 3

We are currently in a campsite in Steamboat Springs that will remain anonymous to protect the guilty. Our options were limited here which is why we stayed. However showers with no shower heads, filthy washing machines etc do not a super adventure make. My friend in Zurich, Thomas, once told me that he always traveled with flip flops for the shower. Thank God I took his advice or I would have had to cut my feet off at the ankles after showering - awful doesn't begin to describe this place.

Shopping here in Steamboat is excellent - I bought a few things yesterday in an attempt to replace some clothing I brought with me which doesn't lend itself to an RV or wash machines that beat the clothes clean - or not. Amazingly the wash machines at the first RV parks we were at were great. Here the clothes came out as dirty as they went in (or actually dirtier it seemed) just wetter. Our satellite TV also doesn't work here so we are stuck watching bad Nicholas Cage DVDs that we got on sale at Wal-Mart - true punishment.

Lastly, I hope there are still some people to follow my blog with the Rapture taking place yesterday and all. Can you say Y2K anyone? Just to be safe, though, Joe & I have booked a trip to Mexico - no kidding - for December 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar. Better safe than sorry!!

Uh, oh....

Due to weather conditions we had to change our travel route to Salt Lake. So I asked if we could check out the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado which is where Stephen King was inspired to write "The Shining". This hotel claims to be haunted and as this is right up my alley. I wanted to stay there if possible. Right after college I had the opportunity to stay at the Octagon House (also reputed to be haunted) in upstate New York and will never forget that experience. Well we were able to get a room in the Manor House but not the main building as we are traveling with our dog and dogs aren't allowed in the main hotel. We were told though that there was also haunted activity in this building. Well all I can say is that I am a believer! During the night I continued to hear loud knocking on the wall behind my head and at one point I felt someone / something pulling on my right leg. Funny enough the dog was very nervous and refused to eat or drink any water. I woke up at 4:59 and the dog was trying to get out of the room! After Joe woke up he told me that Nera, our dog, was barking in the middle of the night and was very afraid. Funny enough I hadn't heard this and I am normally very tuned into her behavior. Plus she is very used to staying in hotels so this behavior was not normal. The whole vibe in this building is odd. As in the movie, almost all the public rooms are empty and in the Manor House I believe we were almost the only guests. Add to this the fact that the door to our hotel room as was standing open when we checked in but there was no maid or any other person in the hallway. So if you are looking to creep yourself out, this is the place to visit. On to the next adventure!

Stayin' Alive

Yesterday we left Golden, Colorado just outside Denver. The evening before we had dinner at a bar called Wrigley Chicago which claimed to be an authentic Chicago style bar serving Chicago style food (I'd heard about it from another RV park resident). The food was amazingly authentic - we had a Chicago style hotdog and a Maxwell Street Polish. However the decor was more Brighton Park / Comiskey Park than Wrigley Field / Wrigleyville. I can only imagine that they took the Wrigley name as the White Sox were so money driven that they sold their soul and allowed the stadium to be renamed US Cellular Field - doesn't really lend it itself to be used as a bar name. The owners claimed to be from Chicago. When I asked where they said Waukegan. Well I hate to get started on one of my absolute pet peeves but Waukegan isn't Chicago any more than Palos Hills is Chicago or Lake Forest is Chicago. Every time someone in Switzerland tells me they are from Chicago and I ask where I get a response like those listed above. Clearly Waukegan doesn't have the same recognition as Chicago but it really isn't Chicago. The couple also were more like the Southwest Siders I grew up with. They reminded me of people that you would have seen in Captain's Quarters which used to be located at 39th and Western - a place I used to frequent with friends. Still we enjoyed ourselves.  We stopped for lunch in Bailey, Colorado at a place called the Cutthroat Cafe. Simple food and a friendly environment. There was a conversation going on there about why men liked shows like "Mad Men" It seems that men prefer life the way it used to be before feminism. No kidding, not hard to imagine why. A younger woman said that women her age don't even realize that life was so different before. Well in my opinion equal rights doesn't necessarily equal feminism or I believe what they perceive as militant feminism. Isn't it better that both share the load? In the evening we checked into an RV park in Buena Vista, Colorado - possibly one of the most beautiful and coolest places I have ever been. We managed to find a dog friendly bar (it's called funnily the "Colorado State Highway Department") and truly enjoyed chatting with the owner and his partner. If you ever come through here, this bar is an absolute must, very cool people.

I am becoming addicted to satellite radio which has its pluses and minuses. I heard the news about Arnold Schwarzenegger fathering a child with an employee that lived in his home and was shocked and really disappointed. When he was running for governor there were quite a few letters to the editor in Swiss newspapers deriding the fact that an actor could run for office. So I wrote and defended his right to do so and mentioned how he was truly living the American Dream where anyone can aspire to do anything. I really felt he was a person to be admired and now this. It was a rude awakening for me. Also on satellite radio I happened to come across a Glenn Beck program. Mr. Beck is entitled to his opinions as we all are. However he was playing an interview which had taken place in Arabic and making fun of the person speaking because of his language. Does it get any more juvenile? How does this guy keep a following? In my opinion he had / has the perfect right to challenge the content but making fun of a language is idiotic and actually shows a lack of respect for the intellect of the people who follow him.

Lastly as I was doing a last load of laundry at the Golden RV park a man started chatting with me. He said he was 62 and both he and his wife had just been laid off. They had decided to sell their house and live in their RV to save money and be flexible in terms of relocating for possible new employment. It was sad to hear this as I do see more and more how people are struggling in this economy. I really hope things turn around.

I have reached Dishevelment

I am someone who cares about her appearance and am almost compulsive in my desire to have everything ironed. Let's just say this is almost never possible in RV life. Storage space is at a minimum so fashion takes a backseat to practicality to start with. Add to this the fact that I don't have an iron with me due to space requirements. None of this was a problem when we were in Africa on safari and had the same limited choices as all other travelers. However here I come into constant contact with normal everyday people - I constantly feel like I stick out and this makes me very uncomfortable. I normally love shopping in the US but now feel that I constantly have to explain myself and excuse my appearance. Stressful.

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 2

Denver is a very dog friendly city. So because the weather had finally improved we decided to have lunch outside. I had read that dogs were sometimes allowed to sit on restaurant patios with their owners. Well today we were told that we could sit outside on the patio but the dog would have to sit on the other side of the fence, that is on the sidewalk, for "Health Department reasons". Come on people, is this serious or at all logical? What germs are being stopped by a wrought iron fence? Absurd is the only way to describe this.

A friend in Zurich who had traveled with her family through the US in an RV told me that traveling in an RV was like vacationing in a parking lot. Although I've only been at it for a short time, I have to agree. I keep having the feeling that I need to go home once we pull up to our reserved space only to realize that I am home, I have no where to go!

Although it can be an almost overwhelming experience, I love US food stores. The selection is almost impossible to take in and it seems there is nothing that they don't have. I may feel differently if I start gaining weight but right now I'm enjoying myself.

We sighted another pajama wearing woman at Target. I don't get the whole pajamas as clothing concept as it is. However if you have to wear pajamas as clothing, why do they always have to feature a cartoon character motif? The psychology behind this is fascinating.

I Have Seen the Present & It Doesn't Work

Wednesday we spent the night at the Ramada in Casper, Wyoming. As we were checking in I saw a sign for that evening's "Lingerie Fashion Show". For me truly a "What the hell?!?" moment. People this is 2011 not 1965 or some cheesy episode of "Mad Men". If you can believe it my 81 year old father used to get to enjoy these "highbrow" events during business lunches in the 1960s. Well the bar was chock full of men eagerly buying raffle tickets to win one of these superb outfits. All I kept thinking about was the look of dread that would appear on the lucky recipient's face as she received this super cheesy, cheap negligee. Myself, I would probably ask if my husband / boyfriend couldn't find his way to Victoria's Secret for something really pretty & wearable. These outfits weren't cheap in terms of price but looked like some cheap male Hustler fantasy. Add to that the fact that most of the models weren't going to be giving Heidi Klum a run for her money anytime soon. I was informed that most of the ladies were "single moms" as if this is some sort of qualification for this type of job or this was their only option. This all rocked my world.

People all keep mentioning all the interesting people we'll be meeting. True enough but I'd say 99% of all communication has to do with the Earth Roamer or the dog. Yesterday a guy was actually kind of dissing the RV at the truck stop. When he realized Joe actually owned it he said "my bad". These people are killing me.

Lastly, as friendly as American are in general, people almost never greet each other. I have been spending a lot of time in the laundry room here at the RV park and people enter without even acknowledging me. When I say hello, they don't respond. Okay, whatever.

Sammelsurium or Simply "Stuff"

1.) On my favorite subject of dog-friendly hotels, I suddenly had a thought. It seems that hotels / motels that no sane individual would stay in have now declared themselves "pet friendly". They have now accessed an entirely new market - that's what I call American ingenuity. Also you have to love www.dogfriendly.com. 2.) A friend gave me a copy of the book "Roadside America'. Well the author would do well to include at least basic details as to where these points of interest (I use the term loosely) are located. I believe we saw the entire town of Eau Claire, Wisconsin without finding a trace of the Paul Bunyan statue. In Jamestown, North Dakota we were lucky enough to find a local who could tell us where the World's Largest Buffalo is located - our bad luck was that the park was closed. The same person though told us about the World's Largest Holstein in New Salem, North Dakota (also in the book) and gave us directions. We found it and have photographic evidence!  A discovery we made on our own was the Enchanted Highway in Regent North Dakota. www.enchantedhighway.net. This is a collection of huge metal sculptures along the highway & they are beautiful - this site should be in "Roadside America". 3.) One, meaning me, underestimates how difficult it can be to be in the car for 11 plus hours. I have to toughen up though, because if I had ten cents for every person who said things like "What you in an RV, you won't last" "I ask myself how long you will make it" etc I would be a millionaire. 4.) on a sadder note, it has been hard to see how some people are struggling in this economy. We have encountered more people along the road asking for work & money. It is sobering.

Learning, or better said, re-learning the ropes

Before I left Switzerland I had a funny conversation at the American Women's Club regarding the so-called Wal-Mart people. The conversation revolved around whether or not they really exist and if the Swiss aren't just as bad. Well I can now report that they do exist and can also be sighted at Target. During our first shopping excursion we spotted a woman wearing flannel pajama pants featuring the Disney Chipmunks design (way to stay classy), slippers and an over-sized hoodie. This woman was as old as I am - that is 50 plus. US society has become overwhelming casual and my style has become more formal after living for 19 plus years in Switzerland. Say what you want about the Swiss but most people look put together when they are out and about.  I guess I'll need to adjust my style to fit in. The next challenge has been the dog. People are always coming up and asking to pet our dog and recognize her as a Bernese Mountain Dog. However she is welcome almost nowhere and walking her near "pet friendly" hotels is a challenge as most of these hotels are either just off the interstate or easily recognizable as the type "no tell motel". I have also had to increase my investigative skills when looking for a trash can after walking her as there are almost none to be found on the street. Where do pedestrians throw their trash away? It's not that there is trash all over. I can only guess that most people aren't on foot, this is the auto nation.

Touching down in the US

We finally made it to the US with our dog and cat - no easy task. The amount of mis-information or better said amount of missing information one receives about this process is frightening. Let's just say that after having the cat put through the scanner twice in her carrier, having to stow her in the overhead compartment during take off and landing and receiving the dog in the luggage pick-up area with the crate mattress on her head, I'm not sure I'll try this again. Plus after having a dog in dog friendly Switzerland where she is welcome almost anywhere, we were more than happy to find a dog friendly hotel but shocked to find she wasn't welcome anywhere else with the exception of Pets Mart. A learning experience for all of us.

Saturday we will be taking off to drive from Chicago to Missoula, Montana where we will take possession of our Earth Roamer RV and will start our 9 month tour of the US. This is the beginning of a new challenge as we each only have one duffle bag of clothing with us. For a shop-a-holic being unable to buy anything due to storage space along the way will be a chalenge to say the least. Plus as someone who takes pride in her appearance, I don't revel in the fact that I will soon be looking like Erma Bombeck attempting to create new outfits out of a finite number of pieces. I will try to be equal to the challenge......