And the Gold Medal Goes to Germany

We started our most recent EarthRoamer trip on May 9th. Our plan is to go to the North Cape which is in Norway. Well it was probably a mistake to spend the first three nights in German RV parks as it has been all down hill after that. In Germany the parks are so clean you could almost eat off the laundry and restroom floors. There are plenty of rules which have to be followed but the result is super clean, well-functioning facilities. You can actually put your order in the night before for the specific type of fresh breakfast rolls you would like to have the next morning. Works like a charm. Not to mention the laundry rooms feature brand new "state of the art" washers & dryers. Here's a "shout out" to all the US and Canadian RV parks which normally have facilities which could be featured in a museum and are so poorly maintained and filthy it is shocking - why not charge a little more (it is more expensive to stay here) and upgrade your facilities and maintenance schedules? Denmark also had nice clean facilities but not quite to the German standard. However it was possible to order fresh breakfast roles - it's really a nice little extra. The big difference here was that the shower / restroom facilities were coed. Not one big room, mind you, but individual restroom stalls &  individual shower stalls where two people could shower (family facilities).  After being off the road for a a few months, it does take a while to get used to everyone walking around in various stages of undress. However within 24 hours I was back to walking the dog in my pajamas and flip flops. When in Rome ...... The biggest shock so far, though, has been Oslo. The RV park here is a pig sty, plain and simple. The laundry room and grounds (overflowing trash containers, dog waste everywhere ) were enough to make me cry. We had to do laundry and the dirty machines didn't even function correctly. When I brought this to the attention of the reception clerk all I received was a glazed over look. I have now found the European twin of the super gross RV park in Steamboat Springs.

The Saga Continues..... Special UK Edition

After spending the past 11 months outside of the EarthRoamer, we had it shipped from the United States to England, Southampton to be exact.I have to admit that I had mixed feelings, leaving the comfort of home and my life but oh well. It has been harder for me to get in the groove this time. Plus I am super stressed at the whole concept of driving on the left side of the road. I keep physically recoiling every time a car or truck gets close to us. I wish that we could all globally decide which side of the road to drive on and what type of electrical plus we are going to use. After visiting Stonehenge - impressive to see but lacking, at least for me, in any type of esoteric pull - we headed to Bath. We were pleasantly surprised to find a really cute, quaint RV park which had its own pub! It had a real "Cheers" atmosphere, very friendly people. So when we set out the next day to buy a converter plug for the electrical connection at the "caravan", not RV as we Americans say, supply store, we were feeling positive towards all things English. Just as we we entered the traffic circle a short way down the road from the RV park, I felt a light impact at the back of the RV. I told Joe I thought someone had bumped into us and that we should pull over. Bad idea. The traffic circle was directly in front of the Globe Pub and what developed was a scene right out of the East Enders - the only characters missing from the accident scene were Grant & Peg. The woman jumped screaming & shouting out of the car yelling that she had a child in the car,her sister had potential whiplash as she'd recently been in another accident blah, blah, blah. As there had only been a soft bump and the only damage was on their rear US driver's side door, I said the police would need to be called. She didn't want police as they were in a hurry but I said sorry I wasn't buying the whiplash nonsense - as my mother would say, I wasn't born yesterday, didn't just fall off the turnip truck. I had images of the 1-800 personal injury advertisements. In the end 30 minutes and 4 policeman later, we were able to drive off - after agreeing to pay for the damage but being held harmless for the damage. At the RV supply, we found what we were looking for and went to the cashier to check out. It was here that I was confronted by a super scary UK fashion trend. There is a whole extreme black eyeliner, false eyelash craze here. Americans also have their odd habits (shopping in PJs) Swiss (complete body tattoos & piercings) but unless you're Adele or a Kardashian, it's probably a "no go" for everyday. It is strangely disconcerting to have the cashier in a caravan supply store (sorry, Rv, for my American readers) have enough make-up and false lashes on that she could give Lisa Minelli a run for her money. I kept having the feeling she was going to dash off to Vegas the minute she finished checking us out. Ladies if you really have to follow this trend, invest some serious money in the lashes. Most women here have clumps of lashes bearing a strange resemblance to a chunk of tar stuck to their eyelid which make it almost impossible for them to open their eyes. Less is really more. It also seems the "no truth in advertising" virus has also affected the RV lodging guides here, just like the US. The first place in Bath was fabulous, actually had a pub on the premises - double thumbs up. The place in Liverpool however was a dump - no water hook-up, no bathroom facilities & a power cord sticking out of the side of a barn for power (We were told not to use too much! Really?!, considering it was the same price as the nice place in Bath) . It was basically a parking place on a farm. Lastly, whoever said, "clothes make the man" has certainly been shopping in Bath. We were strolling through the town after taking a short bus tour and we came across a Russell & Bromley shoe store - one of my absolute favorite shoe stores on earth. We went in and I was looking around. Well, due to the fact that I was dressed in my nice RV traveling gear, not a single soul approached us. I had to practically tackle a young woman to get her to bring me two pairs of boots to try on. She did her best to humour me, I guess feeling secure in her opinion that I wouldn't be buying anything. Well I did buy a pair and she was more than incredulous when I took out my American Express. A more appropriate slogan might be "don't judge a book by it's cover".

Texas - A Tale of Two Cities

Our trip is slowly winding to a close and we are heading to Las Vegas where I will fly home to Switzerland. We had the opportunity to spend a day in San Antonio and really enjoyed ourselves. We took public transportation from our RV park to the Riverwalk area. The driver was very helpful and let us know exactly where we needed to get off the bus and where we should pick up the bus for the return trip. We visited the Alamo and had dinner at one of the Riverwalk restaurants. It was so romantic sitting outside enjoying our dinner but the cooler temperatures drove us inside for a final drink. Finding the bus for our return trip was a little complicated but a nice young man helped us out. He was on the same bus and apparently heard us discussing where we needed to get off for our RV park. Amazingly we didn't realize we were at our stop - luckily the young man asked the bus driver to wait and told us we needed to hurry up and get off! It was a really positive experience and we look forward to going there again in the future.

Unfortunately our experience in El Paso was less than positive. We had hoped to stay overnight there and had located an RV park on the Internet. Upon reaching the RV park, we realized it was located in the middle of nowhere. So we decided we would drive into the city proper and look for a dog-friendly hotel. Although it is listed as the second oldest city in the country, there was - at least in our mind - nothing appealing about the place. It is overwhelmingly industrial. Add to this the fact that there are currently US travel advisories in place due to the proximity to Juarez, Mexico. It just had a negative vibe for us so we decided to travel farther. This proved to be a good decision because as we continued to drive a perfect view of the fence along the US / Mexico border came into view. It is truly shocking when you see it for the first time. Plus, as there is a Brooks Brothers outlet almost directly across from the poverty of Juarez, it forces you to face why people continue to try and across the border - legally or illegally. Very sad indeed.

I Guess You Can Never Really Escape Grammar School, Sadly.

The living culture is transient in most RV parks - most people stay anywhere from one day to one week. This culture really shifts, though, in the snowbird states. During a recent stay in Tampa I was able to practically time travel back to 6th grade. Joe was away in New York for a consulting job so I was alone. I decided to go into the clubhouse to write some postcards and enjoy some human interaction (Nera our dog is a great companion but not much of a conversationalist). Well I should have saved myself the trouble. I walked in and said hello to the women there. In return I received zero response or acknowledgement. Later I went to the pool and said hello to the maintenance man ( also a park resident) which earned me no response. The only time anyone paid attention to me was when the on-site RV technician came over to fix our faulty shower head. His wife conveniently decided to "stop by" - assessing the competition?!?!? So the popular crowd (aka winter regulars) don't bother with the short term visitors.

I did, though, make an interesting discovery. It seems that seniors are strongly attracted by clip art! It is virtually impossible for them to produce an announcement or flyer without clip art. Chili Cook Off - here we have the steaming bowl of chili, the ladies mystery lunch was a veritable cornucopia of question marks. Hopefully this lifestyle works for all involved but I know I wouldn't last. Although these regulars should be enjoying life, they are still engaging in territorial fights and power struggles. All the clip art in the world can't put a happy face on this.

Just wondering.....

As we have been driving through Louisiana and Texas, I have noticed the almost overwhelming number of churches along the highway not to mention billboards displaying religious messages. However, interestingly enough, there are also far more billboards for adult erotic stores and "men's only" clubs than I have seen anywhere else in the US during our trip. What is up with this? It seems so incongruous to me not to mention really just awful and gross.

Key West, The Place Where Back Fat Rules

Getting older and accepting the physical changes in one's body can be a bitter pill to swallow. Speaking from my own personal situation, I try to fight the middle-aged weight gain by counting calories and battle back fat (men, you should ask your wives about this) by purchasing a special bra which covers it. I agonize over my figure and look for creative ways to camoflage my "muffin top". I guess I was of the mis-informed opinion that all women were concerned about these issues and looked for ways to package their middle-aged bodies so the tracks of time weren't so apparent. Well, after spending some time in an RV camp in Key West, I see I was so woefully wrong.

As we were getting set-up, I saw a couple walking toward us. From a distance they looked to be about thirty. Well as they got closer I realized that they were in their early fifties. This didn't stop the gentleman from sporting his vintage 1974 pukka bead necklace, no sir. The woman however was wearing an "A" cup triangle bikini top over a "D" cup chest. The outfit was completed by a pair of low-rise Daisy Dukes that I wouldn't have worn with 20. What is surprising here is that her muffin top was on display for all to see as well as her back fat! These imperfections didn't seem to bother her in the least if you judge the way she was strutting her stuff.

As it happens we arrived in Key West during the "Fantasy Fest" celebration. This wasn't our plan as neither of us had ever even heard of "Fantasy Fest" but Key West was simply the next planned stop on our trip. Based on accounts from other RVers it sounded like a wild time but I was of the mistaken assumption that most participants were young people. Oh, how wrong I was. When we got to downtown Key West Thursday night it was apparent that most people attending were over 40 with the over 60 crowd super well represented. I don't believe I have ever seen so much naked airbrush painted skin (a true lifesaver for me where some people were concerned) in my life - the Street Parade in Zurich has nothing on these people and what they are willing to expose. It takes a little getting used to sitting at a bar next to a woman wearing nothing but pasties and a grass skirt or a man wearing only a "wet paint" sign in front of his crotch. These people do get an "A" for creativity if nothing else. I guess a lot of young people don't attend because let's face it who would want to see people your parents' age walking around like this? Also what would you do if you actually saw someone you know dressed like this?

Funny enough a lot of Americans are uncomfortable when they first move to Switzerland due to the topless sunbathing and the coed saunas where bathing suits aren't allowed (thought to be poor hygiene when sitting in a warm sauna). After Key West I would embrace these things no questions asked. The images of some people are burned into my memory - and let me say, not in a good way. As I told a friend, if gouging my own eyes out would remove these images I would gladly do it.

"Dude, Where's My Car?", Special Key West Edition

Tonight in Key West I had the most fun I have had since high school, believe me. Joe and I had spent a few hours in Key West walking through Fantasy Fest. It was really raining cats and dogs so we decided to try and find a cab to go back to the RV park. Luck was with me and I was able to hail a mini-van cab. As the door opened all I could think was "Dude, where's my car?" as the cab driver was a total hippie and Manfred Man's "Blinded by the Light" was blaring on the radio (his bongo drums were also on the floor!) We hadn't gone a block when our driver saw four more people trying to hail a cab. Next thing you know, after a short price negotiation, they were traveling with us. We went on to pick up six more people and our driver kept track of all our destinations in his head. Our fellow passengers were shouting out things like "Dude, just turn left and you're at my house" or "Hey, let us out here and we'll walk" - let's just say our driver simply followed his own internal GPS to determine who was getting dropped off and in what order. As all this was all going on, our driver provided commentary on the music playing and kept trying to find a better station on the radio. His phone kept ringing and he kept saying things like "I'm trying to get to you man, hang on" or "Dude, I have to drop of a bunch of people first, I'll call you!" As it was really raining, the windows were fogging up. Our driver was yelling "Hey, can anyone see out the back window, I need to back up!" I felt like a high school student in the car with a friend, great feeling. It's important to add that except for one college student all passengers were in the 50 plus range and having no problem dealing with this unorthodox ride. The young man, however, looked shell-shocked like he was ready to bolt the next time the car door opened. Age does have it's advantages.

Treat People the Way You'd Like to be Treated - Seriously

During our trip across the US I regularly frequent the walk-in manicure / pedicure businesses one finds popping up all over. I would like to call them spas but they are usually very bare bones type of places and most of the time the employees are Asian women. The services are always, in my opinion, satisfactory and the price is more than right - normally about $30 for a manicure and pedicure. The experience can't be compared to a high end or hotel spa with all of their fruit-infused water, organic teas, soft music etc but that's a trade off when you are being charged 75% less. It is also difficult at times to communicate with the staff but they are all hard working and efficient so, again, this is the opportunity cost of very affordable services. Well, for the second time this past week I have experienced adult women behaving badly. In the most recent incident, a woman claimed that the little white flower painted on her sister's big toe was "prettier" than the one painted on her big toe. She insisted it be redone. Redoing this means redoing the entire toe then painting a new flower. The manager tried to say that the customer should have made her specific flower wishes (God, how old are we? I can barely write this without thinking the complainer is just a spoiled jerk) known before the nail technician began but Ms. Complainer was having none it. Like a child she whined that she had no idea what kinds of flowers the technician could paint so how could she know what she wanted? Honestly it was embarrassing to watch and I had to fight to hold my tongue. The polish and flower was redone which of course meant the nail studio made nothing on this transaction. This is hardly an isolated incident. I was in a similar business in Denver and experienced women discussing the technicians and their limited English skills as if these women weren't even present. Clearly the experience could be improved but I would guess a lot of women, myself included, wouldn't be booking these services so frequently if the price was 75% more. I also doubt that most high end spas would put up with this nonsense - or that these women would have the guts to try it. Instead of seeing it as a "win win" situation, these women use it as a chance to see themselves as superior. Sad.

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 11

Part of everyday life in the US is seeing people shopping in their pajama pants, eating in a restaurant in their pajama pants, etc. So it is for me quite the interesting paradox that the minute you walk to the ladies showers in your pajamas with a robe over them you are the subject of intense attention.

One thing I simply can't get used to is the level of interruption when you are staying in an RV park. It doesn't matter if we are working on our iPads, cooking or eating our meals - whatever, people just simply barge in and start talking. We have tried ignoring people which has had zero effect. It's as if people have no boundaries or have left their manners at home. It would be an interesting dynamic to study but for the here and now it is massively annoying.

Nera, our dog, is a very friendly, very accommodating animal which is really a blessing in the US. We were recently in St. Augustine, Florida and at least 10 people stopped to hug or pet her. This happen almost everywhere we go. I told Joe that one of these days she is going to start developing bald spots from all the rubbing. She is quickly becoming like the statue of St. Peter in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome where people rub his feet for luck. If you have ever been there, you would know that his feet are almost shiny from all the rubbing. I don't mean any disrespect by this analogy but the response elicited by Nera is at times overwhelming. She could give this Indian woman, Amman, who goes around the world hugging people a true run for her money.

We Just Aren't That Into You

Joe and I had decided that our next stay would be in Pompano Beach after leaving a really super RV park in Port Orange (Daytona Beach area) Florida. The Daytona area was great and we actually found a truly dog friendly restaurant there - our dog was given a bowl of water with ice cubes! Please frequent "Boondocks" - the staff is wonderful. Well when we got to the Pompano RV park the surrounding area was less than welcoming. Okay, not great but it is what it is. Well, let's just say the women working in the registration office were even less inviting. Two disinterested women who looked like they would fall asleep from boredom - I had to resist the urge to check if they were breathing. Joe was trying to give them the information for the reservation but each questions had to be answered a thousand times. While we were enduring this torture treatment, the "Head of Security" came in. I should mention that from my observation the security personnel in RV parks come in all shapes, sizes and age groups. The number one perk seems to be having the opportunity to drive around in a golf cart all day making sure all the rules are followed. It is interesting to me that in a business that does most of it's business with the over 55 crowd each park has reams of rules and one can always get kicked out without a refund! Oh, I bet that happens a lot....... Well this security man thought he was all that and a bag of chips, no mirrors in that household apparently. He was like a living, breathing version of the fat villain in the "Austin Powers" movies or better yet a 350 pound version of John Travolta's character in "Pulp Fiction". Well he was turning on the charm with the office staff, inviting them to all kinds of events, telling them about the latest improvements to his mobile home etc. It was an interesting diversion as the registration process was taking forever. All I can say is ladies please work on your marriages and show your husband a little appreciation. No way in hell do I want to end up in a situation like this having to enjoy the attention of a guy like this. Really, believe me. When the registration process was over, I mentioned we had our dog with us. Major problem. They can't possibly accept a dog over ten pounds. I said I found their policy strange as it was the first time we had encountered such a strict weights restriction. They wouldn't budge. I was compelled to take a little literary license with a saying I had seen on a t-shirt in Charleston (In dog beers I've only had one) and say "In dog pounds she only weighs 10 pounds" but decided my lame attempt at humor would probably fall on deaf ears. So we told them to cancel the reservation and left. It is interesting to note that it took both women and the assistant manager to take on the task of trying to find out how to cancel a registration......

Meet You in Atlantic City - Or Then Again, Maybe Not

When I realized that we weren't too far from Atlantic City, NJ, I asked Joe if we could go there. I had heard so much hype that I was expecting Las Vegas in New Jersey. I honestly could not have been more wrong. Oh, you see all the big casino names like Harrah's, Trump, Ceasar's Palace but they are plastered on the ugliest collection of concrete block buildings ever produced and assembled in one place - there is no competition to this cheesy ugliness. Really none. Add to that the fact that there is no strip, you have to be shuttled from casino to casino by bus. However, as we were already there, we decided to go to Harrah's. I swear to God no casino guest was under 75 and the "decoration" was half- assed and really zero competition to Vegas. Funny enough I was recently watching an episode of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" (moving from place to place in an RV definitely impacts your TV viewing selections in a negative way) and they were having a debrief, hair pulling session whatever at a casino in Atlantic City. All I can say is that this show is bs and they obviously filmed somewhere else as the opulence presented is MIA in Atlantic City. After spending our $50 budget at the slot machines, we did have a very nice dinner at McCormick & Schmick's but honestly I couldn't wait to get out of there. You just get the overwhelming feeling you're being played by the casino owners with this poor copy of Las Vegas. Disappointing doesn't begin to cover it. If I want the Vegas experience going forward, I'll go to Vegas.

Sammelsurium - Special RV Edition Volume 2

I have had to realize that most of the clothes that I brought with me on this trip are wildly inappropriate. Anything that isn't quick dry or requires ironing isn't really a good idea. However finding this type of clothing when you are a 50 plus year old woman with a normal body is next to impossible. Somehow the manufacturers of all of this clothing seem to be of the impression that all of their customers are super skinny under twenty five year olds. The other day we were at "REI" which has a huge selection of clothes. Well I tried on a size 8, then a size 10 before finally buying an ill-fitting pair of size 12 pants. I mentioned to the young man waiting on me that I was finding it almost impossible to find decent outerwear that fit. As he was also under twenty five, all I got was a blank stare in return. I guess the overwhelming opinion of these companies must be that it is the twenty somethings who are going on all these long RV trips, safaris etc - a viewpoint that doesn't reflect reality. I guess Kirstie Alley who now wants people to believe she is a size 6 (hello, it's called vanity sizing of clothing) would get the super wake-up call when she needed a size 20 at "REI"!

We have finally experience RV park Nirvana at an RV park near Gettysburg and one in Maryland. They had super bathroom facilities, a snack bar, a dog run with toys, a shuttle - you name it. So my standards are not pie in the sky ideals - makes me feel much better. The park in Maryland actually had a man who gave a presentation of what to do in and around the area, very cruise ship!

Well just when I'd thought I'd heard it all in regard to my ironing, today there was a new wrinkle. All of the criticism aka back-handed compliments have to date come from women. Fine with me. Today however was truly a trip into new territory. I was in the RV park laundry room ironing when a gentleman (to use the term loosely) walked in to do his laundry. The very first thing he asks is why I am ironing. I said I just like my clothing to look as nice as possible. So then he asks if I think there is something wrong with his appearance as he is single and hasn’t ironed in over thirty years. I said that I hadn't really noticed his appearance nor was I in the habit of critiquing other people. Then he said that irons were going the way of land line phones so I better get with it. So I said a) the demise of irons was a surprise to me considering the high-tech steam irons sell like hotcakes and b) if he was so concerned about my participation in a dying art, maybe he should make a film of my ironing activities and send it to the Smithsonian. As I have purchased an RV ironing board - (oh yes, they exist, but I wish I would have known about the suitcase you can iron on first. This is a tip from a Swiss friend, can't beat the Swiss for thinking out of the box) I will probably confine my ironing activities to the RV, cramped or not.

What's In a Name

On Saturday Joe and I had the opportunity to try out two restaurant chains that we were completely unfamiliar with. In hindsight we could have passed them by and not missed much.

The first place was called "Friendly's". It seems "Friendly's" main claim to fame is ice cream but they serve all meals. Joe and I decided to have breakfast there. Well we were greeted by the hostess and seated. She asked if we wanted coffee and we said yes. Well, saying yes apparently doesn't mean you will actually get coffee. After approximately ten minutes, a waitress came to our table. After giving us menus, she asked if we wanted coffee. Again we said yes. Well fifteen minutes later the coffee finally arrived. As we placed our order, I noticed that under the waitress's name on her name tag it said "Vanilla". So I asked her if vanilla was her favorite flavor. Logical, no? Apparently no, as she told me her favorite flavor was double chocolate chip but that she was just given vanilla. Well, what the hell sense does that make? If the company isn't going to list an employee's actual favorite flavor, why bother at all?! How "Friendly" is that?

Things only got better at the next place. Later that afternoon while we were driving, I kept seeing billboards for a chain called "Duchess" featuring hotdogs. So after a while I asked Joe if we could stop at a "Duchess" restaurant as I wanted to try a hotdog. Far easier said than done. Two times we took the stipulated exit and drove around and around without finding a "Duchess" restaurant. There was absolutely no signage once we left the highway. The third time turned out to be the charm. After we exited there was signage at the roundabout indicating the location of the restaurant - success! Well, finding the restaurant was the high point. We parked and entered the restaurant only to be confronted by the largest menu I've ever seen in a fast-food restaurant. My question is why they only advertise the hot dogs. At any rate the young man working at the counter seemed to be fighting hard to stay awake, he was possibly the most low energy person I have encountered in a long time. Joe and I both ordered the hot dog special but he only rang up one. When I pointed out that we both wanted the special, he seemed surprised. I guess we probably woke him up as he seemed to be falling asleep standing there. So the order was placed and that was when our looooonnnngggg wait began. The only other customers were two men with a child who were attempting to pass the time waiting for food by playing that game which features a little crane that you have to use to pick up stuffed animals. They were already in the game for about twenty dollars at this point - maybe this is how "Duchess" makes it's real money.... It was amusing to watch orders of fries come up to the counter until they became too cold to eat but no sandwich or other food would appear. At this rate they better install a lot more money making games because thet are losing quite a bit in the French Fry division. After about 30 minutes we were given our food but the beverages were missing. When I pointed this out to the young man at the counter he was surprised, almost incredulous. I honestly wanted to shake this guy awake. God help him if this restaurant is ever full on his shift. I can only assume that the name "Duchess" was chosen for it's allusion to royalty, you know the old "treating customers like a king" and all that. They either need to rethink their name or do a whole more in the management of their restaurants - it's not like they are the only people serving hotdogs.

Marketing 101

One would think that business people would be well versed in the psychology of dealing with potential customers, if in fact they would like to be successful. Unfortunately the exact opposite seems to be true. Here are two anecdotes for your "enjoyment".

When we were in New Hampshire, we were lucky enough to be able to stay with friends that we have know since they lived in Switzerland. One afternoon after visiting a museum, Joe and I decided to buy some wine for our hosts. I asked the museum guide if there was a wine store in the area and there was, so he gave us directions. We drove to the store which appeared to have a good selection. While in Alaska we had purchased wine in a wine store which was called "Cupcake" and "Layer Cake" Shiraz which had turned out to be something that we both really enjoyed. When the young man working there (it turns out he was the owner's son) asked what we were looking for, I mentioned "Cupcake" and "Layer Cake". Wrong response for two million dollars! I was informed that I could probably find what I was looking for in the grocery store. I had decided to keep looking on my own without this gentleman's help when the owner, his mother, approached me. She asked what I was looking for and again I was given the helpful hint to go to the grocery store. I wasn't too happy but managed with Joe to select four bottles of wine. When I got to the counter to pay this woman again told me that the kind of wine I was looking for was normally sold at the grocery store! At that point I lost it. I asked her if I looked like I couldn't afford the wine I was purchasing. I also asked her if I looked like a Mad Dog 20/20, Boone's Farm or Ernest & Julio Gallo wine carafe purchasing kind of person? To say she was shocked was an understatement. Instead of saying "Well if you normally like "Layer Cake" you might like blah, blah, blah she chose to play the snooty wine connoisseur. Bad move.

Today, though took the cake. We had experienced difficulties locating the campsite we wanted to stay at in Cape Cod. After finally arriving, I wanted to try and make an appointment to get my hair cut so that we would know how many nights we would need to stay here. Well as soon as Joe turned the engine off, there was a guy knocking at his window. It seems he sells some kind of protective coating that you can use on automobiles, eye glasses, jewelry - the list is endless. He was dying to use this stuff on the Earth Roamer and would give Joe a deal. He was so persistent that I was getting truly po'd, really irritated. I wanted to book my appointment and reserve our site without this guy's pushiness. After I walked away from him, he sent his girlfriend over - at that point I said I didn't want a demo, period. Ixnay on the high pressure, buddy. I guess he felt he could wear me / us down. In the end it was almost comic with me simply walking away - Joe unfortunately didn't have that luxury. So now we are have the Earth Roamer treated tomorrow..... I hope we don't live to regret this!

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 10

You really meet a wide range of people when you stay in RV parks, many of them really well-traveled. I always enjoy a short chat but am trying to be more "Zen" when it comes to the people I feel are trying to interview me and cannot buy a clue when they have over stayed their welcome. I have really lowered my standards / expectations about what is acceptable to me as I was well on the way to a heart attack not to mention impossible to be around - I can own my own junk, believe me. So now I can say "Well at least the bathroom is clean, too bad the roof leaks" or "It is a well-maintained park, too bad the laundry facilities date back to 1942". Trying to focus on the positive.

Funny enough, although I am trying to take the high road, there are things that really make me shake my head. In an RV park in Upstate New York we were grilled about our dog's health and had to prove she had a rabies shot (not a problem, we're prepared). Imagine my surprise when I went to check out the restrooms and showers - let's just say the Health Department wouldn't have been amused. Maybe their questions about the dog's health were to make sure she wouldn't be getting sick due to the sorry hygiene standards.

Funny enough in this age where a lot of people do yoga or work out, most RV parks don't have any space available to exercise. Plenty of people power walk in the RV parks but that's a little difficult in inclement weather. So far we have only stayed in two "fitness friendly" parks - one in British Columbia and one in Kennebunkport, Maine. I could see this as a real marketing niche.

Lastly, we are really lucky to be able to afford this long trip through the US. However it is really sad to see how many RV parks and grocery stores are collecting food for the local food pantries. It is sobering to see just how many people are suffering. Truly tragic.

Boston "More Than a Feeling" - One More Thing

Being on the road makes it hard to keep up with one's normal beauty regiment. Sometimes I've been lucky and have found a good hair salon or cosmetician. Other times the services I've received have been less than satisfying - I guess as a customer that is just traveling through I don't deserve the same level of attention a regular customer would be paid. When I was in Boston I was badly in need of having my eyebrows waxed but hadn't had the opportunity to locate a cosmetician. One day as I was walking past Macy's I saw that "Benefit" cosmetics had an eyebrow bar. Once Joe was back from Boston I decided to walk over and have my brows done. I walked into the cosmetic department and was given a chair right in the window. My brows were quickly waxed and then I was told I should also have my upper lip done! Great, that made me feel pretty...... I was a little embarrassed but agreed. So there I was in the window of Macy having my upper lip waxed for the world to see - have to admit this was a first.

Boston, "More Than a Feeling"

I'm not sure how many of my friends know that "More Than a Feeling" by Boston is my absolute favorite song. No matter how down I'm feeling, the minute I hear this song I am in a great mood. I recently had the opportunity to visit Boston and the city itself had the same effect on me as the song. There is so much to see and it is a real dog friendly place. One of the first things I did was take Nera for a walk on the Boston Common. There I saw a sign which said that dogs are allowed to be off there leash from 6am to 9am in the morning. As Nera has discovered squirrels (I don't know why but you never see them in Switzerland) during our time in the US and was happy to have the opportunity to chase them - although her chance of catching one as a 10 year old partially lame dog is less than zero - this was a perfect place for us.

Then one day while walking with Nera I saw a Chinese spa. I decided to book a foot massage for myself as a way to relax. Well if it was possible I would marry the Chinese man that gave me my massage so that I could enjoy this everyday. I was so relaxed after the hour that I felt I actually looked different. Not only was it a perfect massage, as he didn't speak much English I wasn't subjected to the endless smalltalk that normally takes place during a spa treatment. When I left the spa two different men actually asked me if I wanted to go for coffee not to mention dinner. I didn't take them up on their offers but I have to admit that it was an ego boost.

Lastly I was walking through Boston with Nera on the way to the wharf area. I noticed a film crew and stopped to ask a policeman if any famous people were on the set. He said that while Kevin Bacon (one of my all time favorite actors) and Jeff Bridges would be in the film, they weren't on the set. I said I was disappointed and he then asked "Well what about me?" What about him indeed! He was an extremely good looking, Italian body builder kind of guy and I was so embarrassed I started blushing. This was of course all in fun but it was really a pick me up.

Thank you Boston for showing me a good time!

My Dog, My Child

I was recently watching a segment on "Good Morning America" about the new designer disposal diapers for children. Apparently a white diaper is no longer good enough, not enough of a fashion statement for today's children and their mothers. Manufacturers are now producing diapers which look like denim or camouflage pants not to mention different feminine patterns for girls. For the really over the top you can go on-line and custom design your diaper or even have photographs printed on them. The last option strikes me as more than a little creepy to tell you the truth.



Imagine my surprise when I realized this trend had also taken hold in the world of doggie poop bags here in the US! The old black or dark brown bags are no longer good enough for man's best friend, no sir. During my time in Boston I had booked Nera in for a day of grooming and doggie daycare. As the people at the doggie daycare were nice enough but not the world's most organized people during my dealings with them on the phone, I decided to stop by the day before to make sure that everything was okay. I had spent 30 minutes on the phone discussing everything from Nera's personality traits to what kind of shampoo she preferred (oatmeal apple, kiwi, something floral) only to receive a second call the next day to review all of this information. While I was there I decided to buy more doggie poop bags in order to make sure I always had a supply. (While they are supposedly provided on the Boston Common, the containers were always empty). Imagine my surprise when I saw that one can buy pink floral bags, camouflage bags, biodegrabable bags etc. - the list goes on and on! Apparently our dogs are more a refection of our identity than we think. Unfortunately for Nera I chose to stick with the run of the mill brown bags - I didn't want people making assumptions about me based on my choice of doggie poop bags.

Embracing My Outer "Unfashionable-ness"

I am someone who loves to shop and who likes to look nice or as my mother would say "put together". Both of these things are difficult, if not impossible, when traveling in the Earth Roamer. I can certainly shop but space to store things is really at a minimum. Also, as one doesn't have the same facilities to maintain and store clothes, Jack Wolfskin, Columbia, Patagonia etc become the labels of choice. Still, I am attracted to malls like a moth to a flame after all the time we've spent in the wilderness or small towns. Shopping, though, is also problematic because going into a store in my RV-wear makes me very self-conscious - you do need to look like you belong in the store, at least in my opinion. Imagine my surprise as to how positive the shopping experience can be based on two recent experiences, one at the Talbots in Sioux Falls, SD and one at "Milli" in Toronto. At Talbots I was waited on by a woman who did her level best to tell me I looked fine, had a nice figure (although not true due to my packed on menopause weight) etc. At the end of my visit I had purchased a few nice, wearable items and had fun in the process. It was really a pick me up. Then the "Milli" experience. "Milli" is a very upscale Toronto ladies boutique which carries a lot of the labels I just love in Switzerland - Marc Cain, Akris Punto, Strenesse, the list goes on. A good comparison would be Grieder in Zurich. Well the owner, Milli herself, plus all of her employees seemed not to notice that I was wearing RV-wear not to mention Birkenstocks! In fact you would have thought that I was the most fashionably dressed woman they had all ever seen. I did buy very nice things but 100% impossible to wear in the current version of my life. Well, not a problem for the "Milli" staff! Everything was steamed, packed and mailed off to Switzerland! Now I know why this woman is so successful, she meets everyone of her customer's desires and needs not to mention sees beyond the current package.

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" Volume 9

In the past week we have been in an RV park in Toronto and two in Upstate New York. All three of these places have beautiful park-like grounds, but that's where the "beautiful" ends. I have seriously never been in filthier bathrooms in my life - no details to spare the squeamish. Add to that the fact that in Toronto the laundry room appliances were so filthy you couldn't set your clothes top of them, no exaggeration. When I complained I was told that the scheduled renovation hadn't taken place as scheduled - so this is an excuse not to maintain what you have? A better one would have been laziness and lack of interest by the employees as the RV-ers are a captive audience.

I had regularly heard about the people who claim President Obama is a Muslim, that Muslims in general are violent terrorists, that President Obama isn't a citizen, that gay preople aren't the same as the rest of us and somehow evil etc., but I had never met one. Well, imagine my surprise when I came face to face with a person such as this in a spa in Toronto. The spa owner innocently - or so I thought - asked if I like President Obama and I said I did. She them said "You know, he's a Muslim". I said that actually he is a Christian, not that there is anything wrong with being a Muslim. Wrong answer as she just wouldn't let up so I stopped responding. Then she started on the topic of gays. Again I said I have no problem with gays, in fact the opposite is true. Well again the verbal version of water tortue ensued. I again didn't engage and was happy when the appointment was over. As a paying customer, it's hard for me to see how this behavior equals a successful business strategy - I felt slimed. Another example of people not having a filter and failing to acknowledge social etiquette boundaries. During our travels through the US National Parks not to mention the small tourist towns along the way, we have been surprised to find young adults from all over the world working at Parks concessions, in small grocery stores, in bars etc. These people are from Moldavia, the Ukraine, Bulgaria - the list goes on. When I asked a bartender (an American) in Keystone, SD why there are so many foreigners working in these jobs, he said Americans are lazy and won't take just any job. Now that seems to be a pretty simplistic explanation to me, but I wonder if this is true or on the other side, if Americans have access to these seasonal jobs. One reads so many things about illegals taking jobs from Americans (something I believe to be false, most of these people work for far less than the minimum wage not to mention no benefits) but these people I've mentioned are here legally, many employed by the US government. It would be interesting to understand more about this. There has been a lot written about "Obamacare" and how it should be repealed. Well people who think it should be repealed need to take a drive through small town America. In every town we have visited, there has been a fundraiser for someone with breast cancer, liver disease - whatever - that does not have health insurance or the savings to cover their medical care. It isn't possible to have enough bake sales, silent auctions, bbq's to cover health care costs for the uninsured. It's time to dump the sound byte talking points and embrace reality.