Friday, October 28, 2011

"Dude, Where's My Car?", Special Key West Edition

Tonight in Key West I had the most fun I have had since high school, believe me. Joe and I had spent a few hours in Key West walking through Fantasy Fest. It was really raining cats and dogs so we decided to try and find a cab to go back to the RV park. Luck was with me and I was able to hail a mini-van cab. As the door opened all I could think was "Dude, where's my car?" as the cab driver was a total hippie and Manfred Man's "Blinded by the Light" was blaring on the radio (his bongo drums were also on the floor!) We hadn't gone a block when our driver saw four more people trying to hail a cab. Next thing you know, after a short price negotiation, they were traveling with us. We went on to pick up six more people and our driver kept track of all our destinations in his head. Our fellow passengers were shouting out things like "Dude, just turn left and you're at my house" or "Hey, let us out here and we'll walk" - let's just say our driver simply followed his own internal GPS to determine who was getting dropped off and in what order. As all this was all going on, our driver provided commentary on the music playing and kept trying to find a better station on the radio. His phone kept ringing and he kept saying things like "I'm trying to get to you man, hang on" or "Dude, I have to drop of a bunch of people first, I'll call you!" As it was really raining, the windows were fogging up. Our driver was yelling "Hey, can anyone see out the back window, I need to back up!" I felt like a high school student in the car with a friend, great feeling. It's important to add that except for one college student all passengers were in the 50 plus range and having no problem dealing with this unorthodox ride. The young man, however, looked shell-shocked like he was ready to bolt the next time the car door opened. Age does have it's advantages.

Treat People the Way You'd Like to be Treated - Seriously

During our trip across the US I regularly frequent the walk-in manicure / pedicure businesses one finds popping up all over. I would like to call them spas but they are usually very bare bones type of places and most of the time the employees are Asian women. The services are always, in my opinion, satisfactory and the price is more than right - normally about $30 for a manicure and pedicure. The experience can't be compared to a high end or hotel spa with all of their fruit-infused water, organic teas, soft music etc but that's a trade off when you are being charged 75% less. It is also difficult at times to communicate with the staff but they are all hard working and efficient so, again, this is the opportunity cost of very affordable services. Well, for the second time this past week I have experienced adult women behaving badly. In the most recent incident, a woman claimed that the little white flower painted on her sister's big toe was "prettier" than the one painted on her big toe. She insisted it be redone. Redoing this means redoing the entire toe then painting a new flower. The manager tried to say that the customer should have made her specific flower wishes (God, how old are we? I can barely write this without thinking the complainer is just a spoiled jerk) known before the nail technician began but Ms. Complainer was having none it. Like a child she whined that she had no idea what kinds of flowers the technician could paint so how could she know what she wanted? Honestly it was embarrassing to watch and I had to fight to hold my tongue. The polish and flower was redone which of course meant the nail studio made nothing on this transaction. This is hardly an isolated incident. I was in a similar business in Denver and experienced women discussing the technicians and their limited English skills as if these women weren't even present. Clearly the experience could be improved but I would guess a lot of women, myself included, wouldn't be booking these services so frequently if the price was 75% more. I also doubt that most high end spas would put up with this nonsense - or that these women would have the guts to try it. Instead of seeing it as a "win win" situation, these women use it as a chance to see themselves as superior. Sad.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Sammelsurium or simply "Stuff" volume 11

Part of everyday life in the US is seeing people shopping in their pajama pants, eating in a restaurant in their pajama pants, etc. So it is for me quite the interesting paradox that the minute you walk to the ladies showers in your pajamas with a robe over them you are the subject of intense attention.

One thing I simply can't get used to is the level of interruption when you are staying in an RV park. It doesn't matter if we are working on our iPads, cooking or eating our meals - whatever, people just simply barge in and start talking. We have tried ignoring people which has had zero effect. It's as if people have no boundaries or have left their manners at home. It would be an interesting dynamic to study but for the here and now it is massively annoying.

Nera, our dog, is a very friendly, very accommodating animal which is really a blessing in the US. We were recently in St. Augustine, Florida and at least 10 people stopped to hug or pet her. This happen almost everywhere we go. I told Joe that one of these days she is going to start developing bald spots from all the rubbing. She is quickly becoming like the statue of St. Peter in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome where people rub his feet for luck. If you have ever been there, you would know that his feet are almost shiny from all the rubbing. I don't mean any disrespect by this analogy but the response elicited by Nera is at times overwhelming. She could give this Indian woman, Amman, who goes around the world hugging people a true run for her money.

We Just Aren't That Into You

Joe and I had decided that our next stay would be in Pompano Beach after leaving a really super RV park in Port Orange (Daytona Beach area) Florida. The Daytona area was great and we actually found a truly dog friendly restaurant there - our dog was given a bowl of water with ice cubes! Please frequent "Boondocks" - the staff is wonderful. Well when we got to the Pompano RV park the surrounding area was less than welcoming. Okay, not great but it is what it is. Well, let's just say the women working in the registration office were even less inviting. Two disinterested women who looked like they would fall asleep from boredom - I had to resist the urge to check if they were breathing. Joe was trying to give them the information for the reservation but each questions had to be answered a thousand times. While we were enduring this torture treatment, the "Head of Security" came in. I should mention that from my observation the security personnel in RV parks come in all shapes, sizes and age groups. The number one perk seems to be having the opportunity to drive around in a golf cart all day making sure all the rules are followed. It is interesting to me that in a business that does most of it's business with the over 55 crowd each park has reams of rules and one can always get kicked out without a refund! Oh, I bet that happens a lot....... Well this security man thought he was all that and a bag of chips, no mirrors in that household apparently. He was like a living, breathing version of the fat villain in the "Austin Powers" movies or better yet a 350 pound version of John Travolta's character in "Pulp Fiction". Well he was turning on the charm with the office staff, inviting them to all kinds of events, telling them about the latest improvements to his mobile home etc. It was an interesting diversion as the registration process was taking forever. All I can say is ladies please work on your marriages and show your husband a little appreciation. No way in hell do I want to end up in a situation like this having to enjoy the attention of a guy like this. Really, believe me. When the registration process was over, I mentioned we had our dog with us. Major problem. They can't possibly accept a dog over ten pounds. I said I found their policy strange as it was the first time we had encountered such a strict weights restriction. They wouldn't budge. I was compelled to take a little literary license with a saying I had seen on a t-shirt in Charleston (In dog beers I've only had one) and say "In dog pounds she only weighs 10 pounds" but decided my lame attempt at humor would probably fall on deaf ears. So we told them to cancel the reservation and left. It is interesting to note that it took both women and the assistant manager to take on the task of trying to find out how to cancel a registration......

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Meet You in Atlantic City - Or Then Again, Maybe Not

When I realized that we weren't too far from Atlantic City, NJ, I asked Joe if we could go there. I had heard so much hype that I was expecting Las Vegas in New Jersey. I honestly could not have been more wrong. Oh, you see all the big casino names like Harrah's, Trump, Ceasar's Palace but they are plastered on the ugliest collection of concrete block buildings ever produced and assembled in one place - there is no competition to this cheesy ugliness. Really none. Add to that the fact that there is no strip, you have to be shuttled from casino to casino by bus. However, as we were already there, we decided to go to Harrah's. I swear to God no casino guest was under 75 and the "decoration" was half- assed and really zero competition to Vegas. Funny enough I was recently watching an episode of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" (moving from place to place in an RV definitely impacts your TV viewing selections in a negative way) and they were having a debrief, hair pulling session whatever at a casino in Atlantic City. All I can say is that this show is bs and they obviously filmed somewhere else as the opulence presented is MIA in Atlantic City. After spending our $50 budget at the slot machines, we did have a very nice dinner at McCormick & Schmick's but honestly I couldn't wait to get out of there. You just get the overwhelming feeling you're being played by the casino owners with this poor copy of Las Vegas. Disappointing doesn't begin to cover it. If I want the Vegas experience going forward, I'll go to Vegas.

Sammelsurium - Special RV Edition Volume 2

I have had to realize that most of the clothes that I brought with me on this trip are wildly inappropriate. Anything that isn't quick dry or requires ironing isn't really a good idea. However finding this type of clothing when you are a 50 plus year old woman with a normal body is next to impossible. Somehow the manufacturers of all of this clothing seem to be of the impression that all of their customers are super skinny under twenty five year olds. The other day we were at "REI" which has a huge selection of clothes. Well I tried on a size 8, then a size 10 before finally buying an ill-fitting pair of size 12 pants. I mentioned to the young man waiting on me that I was finding it almost impossible to find decent outerwear that fit. As he was also under twenty five, all I got was a blank stare in return. I guess the overwhelming opinion of these companies must be that it is the twenty somethings who are going on all these long RV trips, safaris etc - a viewpoint that doesn't reflect reality. I guess Kirstie Alley who now wants people to believe she is a size 6 (hello, it's called vanity sizing of clothing) would get the super wake-up call when she needed a size 20 at "REI"!

We have finally experience RV park Nirvana at an RV park near Gettysburg and one in Maryland. They had super bathroom facilities, a snack bar, a dog run with toys, a shuttle - you name it. So my standards are not pie in the sky ideals - makes me feel much better. The park in Maryland actually had a man who gave a presentation of what to do in and around the area, very cruise ship!

Well just when I'd thought I'd heard it all in regard to my ironing, today there was a new wrinkle. All of the criticism aka back-handed compliments have to date come from women. Fine with me. Today however was truly a trip into new territory. I was in the RV park laundry room ironing when a gentleman (to use the term loosely) walked in to do his laundry. The very first thing he asks is why I am ironing. I said I just like my clothing to look as nice as possible. So then he asks if I think there is something wrong with his appearance as he is single and hasn’t ironed in over thirty years. I said that I hadn't really noticed his appearance nor was I in the habit of critiquing other people. Then he said that irons were going the way of land line phones so I better get with it. So I said a) the demise of irons was a surprise to me considering the high-tech steam irons sell like hotcakes and b) if he was so concerned about my participation in a dying art, maybe he should make a film of my ironing activities and send it to the Smithsonian. As I have purchased an RV ironing board - (oh yes, they exist, but I wish I would have known about the suitcase you can iron on first. This is a tip from a Swiss friend, can't beat the Swiss for thinking out of the box) I will probably confine my ironing activities to the RV, cramped or not.

Monday, October 3, 2011

What's In a Name

On Saturday Joe and I had the opportunity to try out two restaurant chains that we were completely unfamiliar with. In hindsight we could have passed them by and not missed much.

The first place was called "Friendly's". It seems "Friendly's" main claim to fame is ice cream but they serve all meals. Joe and I decided to have breakfast there. Well we were greeted by the hostess and seated. She asked if we wanted coffee and we said yes. Well, saying yes apparently doesn't mean you will actually get coffee. After approximately ten minutes, a waitress came to our table. After giving us menus, she asked if we wanted coffee. Again we said yes. Well fifteen minutes later the coffee finally arrived. As we placed our order, I noticed that under the waitress's name on her name tag it said "Vanilla". So I asked her if vanilla was her favorite flavor. Logical, no? Apparently no, as she told me her favorite flavor was double chocolate chip but that she was just given vanilla. Well, what the hell sense does that make? If the company isn't going to list an employee's actual favorite flavor, why bother at all?! How "Friendly" is that?

Things only got better at the next place. Later that afternoon while we were driving, I kept seeing billboards for a chain called "Duchess" featuring hotdogs. So after a while I asked Joe if we could stop at a "Duchess" restaurant as I wanted to try a hotdog. Far easier said than done. Two times we took the stipulated exit and drove around and around without finding a "Duchess" restaurant. There was absolutely no signage once we left the highway. The third time turned out to be the charm. After we exited there was signage at the roundabout indicating the location of the restaurant - success! Well, finding the restaurant was the high point. We parked and entered the restaurant only to be confronted by the largest menu I've ever seen in a fast-food restaurant. My question is why they only advertise the hot dogs. At any rate the young man working at the counter seemed to be fighting hard to stay awake, he was possibly the most low energy person I have encountered in a long time. Joe and I both ordered the hot dog special but he only rang up one. When I pointed out that we both wanted the special, he seemed surprised. I guess we probably woke him up as he seemed to be falling asleep standing there. So the order was placed and that was when our looooonnnngggg wait began. The only other customers were two men with a child who were attempting to pass the time waiting for food by playing that game which features a little crane that you have to use to pick up stuffed animals. They were already in the game for about twenty dollars at this point - maybe this is how "Duchess" makes it's real money.... It was amusing to watch orders of fries come up to the counter until they became too cold to eat but no sandwich or other food would appear. At this rate they better install a lot more money making games because thet are losing quite a bit in the French Fry division. After about 30 minutes we were given our food but the beverages were missing. When I pointed this out to the young man at the counter he was surprised, almost incredulous. I honestly wanted to shake this guy awake. God help him if this restaurant is ever full on his shift. I can only assume that the name "Duchess" was chosen for it's allusion to royalty, you know the old "treating customers like a king" and all that. They either need to rethink their name or do a whole more in the management of their restaurants - it's not like they are the only people serving hotdogs.